Could you visualise a scene at Ascot, where I was wearing a fascinator?
Would a fascinator suit me, folks?
A S C O T…… O R…… O D S A L (*) ?
Prats in hats, it’s Ascot Time
Poet’s brain now thinks in rhyme
‘Got a sat’ nav’ on your head?
All of these from “heaven fed”!
Greatest place, a “splendid show”
Ascot where “we” want to go?
Putting on affected pose
Stick a Rolex up your nose!
Proper curtsey, scrape and bow
Hide my “Yorkshire tongue” somehow?
‘Got a flat cap on my ‘ead
‘Looks could kill and I’d be dead!
Royal enclosure, not for me
Rather have a cup of tea?
Markle Sparkle, dashing “prince”
‘Guess that this lot make me wince!
“Caps like that, a load of tosh!”
From some prat. who thinks he’s posh!
“Thank you, Marmers!”, Champagne glass
Wow, he is a proper ass! (I did write “ass”!!)
Great excitement, “horsey-race”
Starting time at gentle pace
Lots of colours, splash of pooh
“Wonder what I ought to do?”
Throw myself upon the course…
Flattened by some manic horse?
Go and sit with lords and duke?
This lot makes me really puke!
‘Found a tele’, rugby match
Pecking order, up to scratch?
Eddie Hemmings, Denver game (England v New Zealand from Sky reporter)
Ellie Whitehead, finding fame (A former Bulls’ player)
Ascot, not my “cup of tea”
Rugby League to set me free….
From a world of sheer pretence
David never “sits on’t fence!” xx (*) The home of the Bradford Bulls.