the one where we go to naples


seriously. the crust will make you weep with joy.






beneath the city


this is the first Italian woman I have seen who needed assistance to navigate the cobblestones while wearing stilettos. This leads me to believe she wasn’t Italian.



do you count three legs? That’s because a little boy was riding shotgun. Or playing monkey in the middle. Or filming an infomercial for seatbelt arms and imaginary helmet.




I was the only person who was concerned about her train dragging on the dirty ground but Mike thought it would be weird if I ran over and picked it up. But you know what? I’m a good bridesmaid. And hers were obviously terrible. Or secretly hated her and wanted to make her look bad. Like those horrible frenemies on Say Yes to the Dress.



creepy creepies. You know these will come alive at night and kill you in your sleep.




Girl in sneakers: “When I grow up, I want to be a doctor!”
Girl in not sneakers: “When I grow up, I want to drop out of middle school and be just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!”

should I just caption this one “No, I don’t love my kid. Why do you ask?”