parental concerns

17 Replies



having let my son join a football club for the school holidays, i was a bit concerned today when he informed me that he needed to bring a towel in with him tomorrow in order to shower before lunch, and before afternoon snack, is this the norm in france or am i being over concerned, surely this is something that should be in the curiculum prior to joining, your thoughts please asap.

Featured Classified


ChristopherL-188542 1172610045

what exactly are you concerned about?

hihats 1172611803

i am wondering why 2 showers a day would be needed for samll children kicking a ball around, when they are going to have a bath when they get hpme anyway it seems a bit excessive

ouch that hurt-214958 1172615438

It is usually part of the team thing, same in rugby, basketball etc. It makes sense to use community hot shower & remove dirty sweaty clothes, wouldn't you?

Anyway You may find that not all the mothers hang around waiting for their kids at the end of the pm.

MikeP-180526 1172618098

Any effort which encourages personal hygiene has to be a good thing.

Cap'nCrunch 1172619726

Is there even a French word for "modesty"? I have had exams performed by several different doctors in offices, clinics and hospital and never have I been offered a sheet, smock, or so much as a handkerchief to cover my 'bare necessities'. Nor do the doctors find it necessary to close the blinds on the windows during exams, from which people can often be seen milling about on the street, or through other office/appartment windows. I find it very uncomfortable, but the French seem to find nothing wrong with it, in fact I am considered odd for being uncomfortable!

You didn't mention your son's age, but hopefully he is old enough to let you know if anything inappropriate goes on. I'm surprised some people seem to be ignorant of your reasoning.

Kit-197515 1172621366

Probably hihats is concerned because child molesters do live in our midst...

Usually parents that are oblivious to this problem generally either brush it off because it's easier than considering it, feel that the parents concerned about child molestation are making mountains out of mole hills, or worse, are the very ones who know very well the situation and tend to be molesters themselves.

It's certainly best to take all precautions, especially starting with the least harmless, by asking questions when intuition kicks in; rather than leaving children in precarious situations as prey...

hihats, you did very well in asking the question.


hihats 1172659702

I am all for personal hygiene,and am not a mother who hangs around.I am trusting my child in the care of the club he has been placed in.I am quite ok and so is my son with all in together boys and having a shower, however when I am told that one of the younger boys was thrown in naked, and my son was told that if he didnt bring a towel in with him tomorrow he would be in big trouble, almost to the point that my son woke up in the night to remind me about the towel.

My main concern is are these young boys hosting these types of things veted and if so can a partent check. I am all for eveyone having fun and being one of the boys its all part and parcel of growning up, however I must thank Kit for her support and I find it rather odd that the replys from the men were a little harsh to my concerns.

Cap'nCrunch 1172660021

Kit & Hihat, that is exactly what I meant by people being ignorant to your concerns. These things DO happen, and when they do, you have these same ignorant people saying, "Well, why didn't the mother say or do something?"

Mother's intuition is a very useful tool, never ignore it.

SJ-190944 1172660606

I would definitely ask whoever is supervising your son's group what the deal is and how it is supervised, if you have concerns. That way, they will know that you are aware and concerned. It's one thing being one of the boys and growing up, but it's quite another to be bullied, particularly when you're naked and "vulnerable"! Be careful not to make a big deal out of it with your son, though, but be sure to ask him leading questions about his day.

MikeP-180526 1172662318

I am also a parent, my son is nearly 12, and goes to various sporting activities. I have to admit that the issue of improper conduct on the part of the responsible persons had not occurred to me. This seems to be rarer in France than it is in UK, or perhaps I'm just more aware of it in UK.

Good point though and thanks for the warning.

Cap'nCrunch 1172663991

It could also be possible this type of thing occurs much more often here than the public is aware of, simply because of the attitude of the general public in France? I notice the French are usually very private. Only my observation, NOT an accusation. Alot of things 'more common' in UK, USA, etc, are merely swept under the carpet here. Again, observation.

ouch that hurt-214958 1172678444

No I picked up instantly on the slant of the post. Simply I have just lived here for a long time & know what is expected. Yes, the children do get told off if they don't shower, it is part of the bonding team spirit thing as I originally said. If you are worried about molesting, or bullying you should go & see the person responsible. Not that they are likely to confess if it is the case. The best thing is to question your child after the fist day & take it from there

welli41 1172683087

You're in a difficult situation here - on the one hand you want to ensure the safety of your kid - but on the other you don't want to single him out as having an over anxious parent! Plus I think it's important not to make too much of it with your son.

Are there any other existing parents that you can have a quiet word with - chances are they might have had initial reservations themselves. They might be able to set your mind to rest. Plus of course you can keep gentle tabs on it by asking your son in roundabout ways.

99.99% of instances will be entirely innocent and above board - but just keep relying on your parental instincts.

chrissiet 1172684048

well, my oldest had the b.a.f.a. that made her eligable to work at the garderie and and various camp sites and group things for children and it was always the rule that NEVER could an animator or an older person be left alone with a go to the toilet the child was accompained by another child or if for some reason the child was injured and had to go to the nurse another adult or older child was always present...they were very strict about that .....but this original posting was about showers did i miss something ? as for capt. crunch's little striptease , i remember when my husband had to see a doctor about a problem with his toe --- the dr. asked him to take off his pants and for some reason my husband stripped naked from the waist down....really !!! to him this seemed normal --- he is french -- maybe that is the norm for them....

pasc 1172685958

In my son's football club, the children are allowed to keep their underwear on. Not very hygienic, but offers a solution to your concerns.

fatima.c 1172687461


to him this seemed normal --- he is french -- maybe that is the norm for them....


Being French, I tend to disagree with this statement. There is an amazing number of French people who are NOT into undressing at the first opportunity. :)

Personal message to Chrissiet: you should definitely consider having a chat with your husband.

chrissiet 1172691233

fatima.....hmmmmmmm you are right about that chat...

Join the discussion